What do you consider "beautiful" ?

coolcandy3001 wrote:Without making this a pity trip and without giving away my entire life I'll just say: my self esteem is nonexistent & I have eating problems.
For guys, what do you find attractive in girls? Do her looks matter a lot (mainly talking about the behind and chest) and how much do you judge on looks?
For girl's, a similar question like, what do you find attractive in a man, does he need a specific body type and how much do you judge looks? (Same for any gay person on here, this isn't a hetro only topic)

For me, weight doesn't matter. I dislike muscles, a bbit of a belly is cuddly :3
I like taller guys, it just feels natural to me. I love smart guys too. That's basically my only judge for a partner.

Your post is cute and it's a really interesting question that I also make myself a lot of times.

Well, if you take the majority of people, they will say that this is the standard right now:

Women: Thin, larger than average breasts, curvy bottom (without being huge), white or chinese/japanese (yes, can't deny the elephant in the room, sorry), beautiful "perfect" teeth, straight or wavy hair of any color (blondes have a bit more fun, if you have afro hair and don't kill yourself with those crazy chemicals you will also have a hard time).

Men: Tall and muscular, with low body fat. White (if you are muscular or rich you can do well if you're not white), rich and imposing (beyond being confidend, you have to portrait the "alpha male" sh*t).

Besides the obvious that I stated above... I also have and had eating disorders, I used to weight more than twice of what I weight right now. I put myself through a risky stomach AND bowels surgery to be able to do what I could not do with "willpower" alone. I had a plastic surgery to remove some skin (from which I am still in recovery).

After all that, people treat me much better anywhere I go (even when I am not looking for dates, but for regular things like going to the mal or, believe me, even at restaurants!), but I know that I am far from the "ideal man" look yet, and I may stay far from it for the rest of my life (oh yes, I forgot to say "young" on the stereotypical beauty profiles above).

I tried myself at dating sites and I had a very low feedback. I am white, short (1,70 m), thin (50 Kg), grey hair (for now, it will be blonde when time comes ) and POOR and SINCERE.

Those two things (and maybe I am annoying to people, not sure about it, you tell me) make me "not interesting enough" for a prospective marriage, and I have to admit it saddens me, since I'd really like to have a nice company for the rest of my life, besides someone to split rent and utility bills

So, if you don't fit the profile, I am sorry to inform you, but you will have to go through the sh*t. It's an animal world outside and only the fittest survive (pun intended). We are just OUT!

Ah! And, besides that, if you are not paying the bill, you most likely need to be their *** slave as well, or they will replace you with someone that is willing to put their mouths at places nature didn't design them for.

Well... After all that pessimism, there are exceptions to the rule. Not many, but quite a few that you may be lucky enough to find someone that is a good fit for you. It just takes time, hope and a lot of work. It may not work, but you will be able to say, when you go to heaven, that at least you "tried"!!

Don't give up! Life is too sad if we give up on our dreams, even when they are "too hard to materialize".

Ah! About my taste (I almost forgot), I just want someone that is clean and smells good, lives well with little eventual plain vanilla *** and, at least, split the bills (or pays it in full, even better). Someone that treats me well and makes me shiver of excitement when I am near

Meanwhile, let's have some tea with sucralose, so we don't gain weight while we are waiting!

coolcandy3001 wrote:Without making this a pity trip and without giving away my entire life I'll just say: my self esteem is nonexistent & I have eating problems.
For guys, what do you find attractive in girls? Do her looks matter a lot (mainly talking about the behind and chest) and how much do you judge on looks?
For girl's, a similar question like, what do you find attractive in a man, does he need a specific body type and how much do you judge looks? (Same for any gay person on here, this isn't a hetro only topic)

For me, weight doesn't matter. I dislike muscles, a bbit of a belly is cuddly :3
I like taller guys, it just feels natural to me. I love smart guys too. That's basically my only judge for a partner.

Sim Architect wrote:(...) short (1,70 m), thin (50 Kg) (...)

Sim Architect wrote:

coolcandy3001 wrote:Without making this a pity trip and without giving away my entire life I'll just say: my self esteem is nonexistent & I have eating problems.
For guys, what do you find attractive in girls? Do her looks matter a lot (mainly talking about the behind and chest) and how much do you judge on looks?
For girl's, a similar question like, what do you find attractive in a man, does he need a specific body type and how much do you judge looks? (Same for any gay person on here, this isn't a hetro only topic)

For me, weight doesn't matter. I dislike muscles, a bbit of a belly is cuddly :3
I like taller guys, it just feels natural to me. I love smart guys too. That's basically my only judge for a partner.

Your post is cute and it's a really interesting question that I also make myself a lot of times.

Well, if you take the majority of people, they will say that this is the standard right now:

Women: Thin, larger than average breasts, curvy bottom (without being huge), white or chinese/japanese (yes, can't deny the elephant in the room, sorry), beautiful "perfect" teeth, straight or wavy hair of any color (blondes have a bit more fun, if you have afro hair and don't kill yourself with those crazy chemicals you will also have a hard time).

Men: Tall and muscular, with low body fat. White (if you are muscular or rich you can do well if you're not white), rich and imposing (beyond being confidend, you have to portrait the "alpha male" sh*t).

Besides the obvious that I stated above... I also have and had eating disorders, I used to weight more than twice of what I weight right now. I put myself through a risky stomach AND bowels surgery to be able to do what I could not do with "willpower" alone. I had a plastic surgery to remove some skin (from which I am still in recovery).

After all that, people treat me much better anywhere I go (even when I am not looking for dates, but for regular things like going to the mal or, believe me, even at restaurants!), but I know that I am far from the "ideal man" look yet, and I may stay far from it for the rest of my life (oh yes, I forgot to say "young" on the stereotypical beauty profiles above).

I tried myself at dating sites and I had a very low feedback. I am white, short (1,70 m), thin (50 Kg), grey hair (for now, it will be blonde when time comes ) and POOR and SINCERE.

Those two things (and maybe I am annoying to people, not sure about it, you tell me) make me "not interesting enough" for a prospective marriage, and I have to admit it saddens me, since I'd really like to have a nice company for the rest of my life, besides someone to split rent and utility bills

So, if you don't fit the profile, I am sorry to inform you, but you will have to go through the sh*t. It's an animal world outside and only the fittest survive (pun intended). We are just OUT!

Ah! And, besides that, if you are not paying the bill, you most likely need to be their *** slave as well, or they will replace you with someone that is willing to put their mouths at places nature didn't design them for.

Well... After all that pessimism, there are exceptions to the rule. Not many, but quite a few that you may be lucky enough to find someone that is a good fit for you. It just takes time, hope and a lot of work. It may not work, but you will be able to say, when you go to heaven, that at least you "tried"!!

Don't give up! Life is too sad if we give up on our dreams, even when they are "too hard to materialize".

Ah! About my taste (I almost forgot), I just want someone that is clean and smells good, lives well with little eventual plain vanilla *** and, at least, split the bills (or pays it in full, even better). Someone that treats me well and makes me shiver of excitement when I am near

Meanwhile, let's have some tea with sucralose, so we don't gain weight while we are waiting!

coolcandy3001 wrote:For guys, what do you find attractive in girls? Do her looks matter a lot (mainly talking about the behind and chest) and how much do you judge on looks?

D' Eradicated wrote:

coolcandy3001 wrote:For guys, what do you find attractive in girls? Do her looks matter a lot (mainly talking about the behind and chest) and how much do you judge on looks?

Personality. I'm into not that talkative but not too silent type of girls. Weight almost doesn't matter since we can just hit the gym together and lose all of those fats.

Looks also have a factor, but, not that much. About chests, true oppai (Japanese for girls' chests) lovers love the chests of their

coolcandy3001 wrote:I hate my breasts (They're in the "average" category >.>) but because I dislike push up bras, a lot of boys see me as flat chested (I don't flaunt, I have many clothes to big for me so it becomes hard to show off)

Tbh, I've been pretty proud of my body, I measured it out for a dress I wanted to get and I'm an hour glass :3
Hips & Bust: 32" (81.3cm)
Waist: 24" (60.7cm)

So I guess I have that going for me v.v

In answer to your question, I have considered surgery so much but at the same time, if I got surgery, the younger generation COULD look at me and feel pressured. At least if I'm natural they're looking up to a scientifically possible body - not a fake one that can't be natural. I wouldn't want to be like how Nicki Minaj & Kim Kardashian are to me - the ones the boys want all girls to be (in my school anyway, lol) despite the fact both have had surgery & injections.

And haha, I drink normal tea. Hell if I'm honest, I've had 3 McDonalds in 2 weeks :$:
My metabolic rate is amazing, I eat around 2000 calories a day and do nothing but sit on my PC (and on week days walk up and down stairs at school) and don't gain a thing! Which again - I'm luck for.

My mum is constantly telling me how she wished she had a body like mine for her age (if anything, she started my ED, when I was 6 I went on a diet because my mum was constantly weighing herself and talking about dieting, thinking I didn't understand) and that the only reason boys ignore is probably because of me wearing glasses, so I look a bit dorky & I never, ever show my body off (I hate it so much why would I want to show it off)

Oh and even though your 40, when I first saw you in your videos I thought you were good looking, Sim :3 40 is still young ^_^ I'm sure you'll find someone.

Glad you have a great metabolism!

Thanks for the compliments, I think I am doing ok for 36 (still counting "real years", but I will start to use the "Cher Calendar" pretty soon), but I have to take better care of myself and I HAVE to exercise somehow (doctor's orders). I just feel I was 19 years old "yesterday" and not many great things happened in my life through these almost two decades (trust me, the 90's feel pretty close to today, at least for me and many of my "old peers").

It is great to be thin, isn't it? If you feel you want plastic surgery and if you can afford it, and if it is safe and make you happier, I would say go for it. Otherwise, just be happy the way you are and enjoy life.

We see jaw dropping beauties fade quickly with age, so we never know (a few stay beautiful even after decades like Barbra Streisand and Cher, but they have lots of surgeries on their backs to stay looking "young" at their ages)...

So far you seem to be pretty "in" the beauty standards, at least considering the measurements, so just have fun and it is ok to show your silhouette and there are many elegant ways to do it without showing too much skin (look at those beautiful Diana Ross gowns through the decades and you will get some inspiration). I feel it's not fun to show too much, you are right, because that way you end up selling yourself short.

And fat people can be beautiful too, like Adele. You can have great skin, great teeth and hair. It is sad people still want us to fit into their little boxes, but the boxes are here to stay and, if we want a high "street value" we need the right shape, size and age

coolcandy3001 wrote:I hate my breasts (They're in the "average" category >.>) but because I dislike push up bras, a lot of boys see me as flat chested (I don't flaunt, I have many clothes to big for me so it becomes hard to show off)

Tbh, I've been pretty proud of my body, I measured it out for a dress I wanted to get and I'm an hour glass :3
Hips & Bust: 32" (81.3cm)
Waist: 24" (60.7cm)

So I guess I have that going for me v.v

In answer to your question, I have considered surgery so much but at the same time, if I got surgery, the younger generation COULD look at me and feel pressured. At least if I'm natural they're looking up to a scientifically possible body - not a fake one that can't be natural. I wouldn't want to be like how Nicki Minaj & Kim Kardashian are to me - the ones the boys want all girls to be (in my school anyway, lol) despite the fact both have had surgery & injections.

And haha, I drink normal tea. Hell if I'm honest, I've had 3 McDonalds in 2 weeks :$:
My metabolic rate is amazing, I eat around 2000 calories a day and do nothing but sit on my PC (and on week days walk up and down stairs at school) and don't gain a thing! Which again - I'm luck for.

My mum is constantly telling me how she wished she had a body like mine for her age (if anything, she started my ED, when I was 6 I went on a diet because my mum was constantly weighing herself and talking about dieting, thinking I didn't understand) and that the only reason boys ignore is probably because of me wearing glasses, so I look a bit dorky & I never, ever show my body off (I hate it so much why would I want to show it off)

Oh and even though your 40, when I first saw you in your videos I thought you were good looking, Sim :3 40 is still young ^_^ I'm sure you'll find someone.

Admin wrote:

coolcandy3001 wrote:I hate my breasts (They're in the "average" category >.>) but because I dislike push up bras, a lot of boys see me as flat chested (I don't flaunt, I have many clothes to big for me so it becomes hard to show off)

Tbh, I've been pretty proud of my body, I measured it out for a dress I wanted to get and I'm an hour glass :3
Hips & Bust: 32" (81.3cm)
Waist: 24" (60.7cm)

So I guess I have that going for me v.v

In answer to your question, I have considered surgery so much but at the same time, if I got surgery, the younger generation COULD look at me and feel pressured. At least if I'm natural they're looking up to a scientifically possible body - not a fake one that can't be natural. I wouldn't want to be like how Nicki Minaj & Kim Kardashian are to me - the ones the boys want all girls to be (in my school anyway, lol) despite the fact both have had surgery & injections.

And haha, I drink normal tea. Hell if I'm honest, I've had 3 McDonalds in 2 weeks :$:
My metabolic rate is amazing, I eat around 2000 calories a day and do nothing but sit on my PC (and on week days walk up and down stairs at school) and don't gain a thing! Which again - I'm luck for.

My mum is constantly telling me how she wished she had a body like mine for her age (if anything, she started my ED, when I was 6 I went on a diet because my mum was constantly weighing herself and talking about dieting, thinking I didn't understand) and that the only reason boys ignore is probably because of me wearing glasses, so I look a bit dorky & I never, ever show my body off (I hate it so much why would I want to show it off)

Oh and even though your 40, when I first saw you in your videos I thought you were good looking, Sim :3 40 is still young ^_^ I'm sure you'll find someone.

Why do you worry so much anyway? You're young!
Yes, I know you don't like people saying that to you, but it's true. You're still growing, and will continue to do so. You shouldn't even be considering surgery at this age!
Since you're still growing, I'm sure your breasts will grow too, just give it some time and be patient.

And there's nothing wrong with eating a lot and not gaining any weight. I'm lucky to have that myself too. Enjoy it while you still can!

There seem to be some misunderstandings here. For example, being "flat chested" doesn't mean that you're not attractive. Having glasses doesn't mean that you're not attractive either.
Attraction is a subjective thing. That means that person x can think it's not attractive, but person y can think it's very attractive. For example, I personally think that both the things you mentioned can be attractive. Of course someone else can think differently, but that's their opinion. Everyone has their own opinion, and that's a good thing!
Therefore you should not try to meet any requirements, you're perfect as you are. The "one" won't even look at all the things you mentioned. If he really loves you, he'll love you as you are, not as someone you're not.

Lady ElDi wrote:Hi Coolcandy,

As an older (cringe  ) more mature woman I can tell you, it gets better. But only if you give it time!
I vividly remember being 14 and man, was that awkward! I had non existent self esteem and because of that, I let people treat me badly. Guys also noticed that and I let them take advantage of me.
I had terrible acne and like you, at that age, I was extremely dissatisfied with my breast size and overall body shape, even though I had a perfect weight and a near-hourglass figure.

It was (and is!) awkward for me to be around people though, because as it turns out, I have Aspergers (autism). It's difficult for me to relate to the majority of people. I often don't like what other people my age and sexe like. For example, I don't care about fashion, make up, celebrities. I'm "crunchy" but not so much so that I can relate to other people that are crunchy. I can't say I've ever met a woman my age who is as serious about gaming as I am.

When I was young (though a bit older than 14) I used to hide behind Gothic clothing. Well, that sure creates a wall around you I can tell you that! Especially if you're from a small town like me. Yes, I made myself the odd one and I enjoyed that. Still do to some degree. It made me less approachable.

Trust me, it gets better. You're only 14! Did you know that you won't stop growing and developing until you're at least 21? Trouble at your age is, you're looking at young women on magazines or billboards and you're thinking, "I wish that was me", but what you don't realise (yet!) is that you may feel like a young woman, your body is still transitioning and it needs a few more years. Give it time to grow into the terrific young woman you already are.

As for myself, I struggled with my weight and body image for quite a while. I'm 1.74m and when I was your age, I would weigh around 55kg (same height!) and if I went back to that weight now, I would seriously look like skin and bones. I already did a few years ago at 63 kg, people thought I was ill. My ideal weight is around 75 kgs. I look healthy and wear a size medium. At one point, I was always worrying about how I look and what other people think. And then I just... stopped caring. I stopped letting it ruin my life and yes, I could stand to loose about 10-15 kg but you know what? It's too much trouble.

I suffer from chronic backpain due to my pregnancies, so I don't exercise. I move, I just don't actually exercise. I go on foot where ever I go as long as it doesn't take longer than 30 minutes. Also, I love food! We eat very healthy. Plenty of fruits, vegetables, all ecologically friendly. And I like my snacks in the evening. 

As for what I look for in a man: I like a Mediterranean type (olive skin, dark hair, brown eyes). I like men that are a bit taller than me. Not the muscular type. I have no preference about facial hair, as long as whatever he chose suits his face. 
But, and this might sound cheesy, his personality is way more important. If I hope to grow old with this guy, his looks will have faded by the time he's 70 or 80 (sooner, I imagine) but his personality has not.

As for my "ideal woman" (I'm not into women, but I can appreciate her features), I think a woman should be on the fuller side of "healthy weight" or even a bit over that mark. She has long hair that she wears naturally (I don't like fancy hairdo's) and she doesn't use a lot of make up. She wears clothes that suit her personality and her body type. A big plus if she dares to be different! 

Life will always be a little tough at 14, but you'll grow up and learn to love and accept yourself. As for men, you have plenty of time for that! There are so many guys and you don't want to learn the hard way that your low self esteem landed you in the wrong relationship. That happened to me and it took me 5 years and a marriage to realize that! And after that it took me another year (and a lot of money!) to be divorced, and we didn't even have a house, valuables or money to split. Thank God we had no kids.

Lady ElDi wrote:If I hope to grow old with this guy, his looks will have faded by the time he's 70 or 80 (sooner, I imagine) but his personality has not.